His name was Jinki.
He had the most breathtaking smile, the most beautiful brown eyes. You miss when he would sing to you in that smooth, velvet voice. You miss the way would try to make everyone laugh but just fail and the fact that he failed would make everyone laugh anyway.
He was your first love.
You two met in grade school. He was the new kid, he moved from the countryside. On his first day he was beaten - he was sitting in the corner of the classroom, his long black hair covering his eyes, his chin resting on his knees. His arms were badly bruised and his uniform was ripped all over the place - his tie was almost torn in two and on the floor. The thing was, he was grinning. You helped him up and your friendship started from there. You found Jinki to be rather optimistic. Even though he was bullied, even though his parents were divorced and he almost failed his classes, he grinned through it all - and that's what you liked about Jinki the most.
In middle school, you started questioning your sexuality. There's no doubt about it, you're attracted to Jinki. The obsession with pink, shopping and cooking makes it even worse. Although you've only been drawn to one guy in your entire life (come to think of it, the only person), you're pretty sure you are.
High school has come and you're sure you're gay - and in love. Your heart thumps erratically everytime Jinki's in the same room, nothing makes you feel happier than when you and Jinki are together. You finally decide to confess.
You and Jinki are eating lunch when you blurt out, being as straight forward as you are, "I love you."
He simply looks at you - his smile long gone and says, "I can't be with you, sorry." Then walks off.
You grab his wrist, eyes burning with tears and demand to know why. He shrugs. "My heart's dysfunctional," he says while pushing you away. You were left standing in the middle of the cafeteria, all eyes glued to you while you fell to the floor and sobbed.
For the next few months, you and Jinki didn't talk much - but you decided you wouldn't give up. Every chance you had, you'd say, "I love you, Jinki." He'd never reply. The always smiling Lee Jinki never grinned anymore.
You finally get him to crack. Before you tell Jinki that you love him during passing period, he seals your mouth with his hand and pushes you against a locker. You grab his hand and thrust it aside. "Why don't you love me?"
Tears begin to roll down his cheek. "How can I love someone when I'm dying, Kibum? I have a heart problem, damn it!"
You stand at the altar, ready to make your speech.
"Jinki and I met in grade school. I was in love with Jinki, in fact I still am. To be honest, I don't think he's really left. Where ever he may be, I know he's watching me - I know he's waiting for me."